At the beginning of this month my husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary (I know, crazy right?!). This got my thinking about what I’ve learnt during that first year and wanted to share my thoughts with you.
1. People still judge me
One of the main gripes I had during my engagement was people judging me because I was going to be 23 when we tied the knot. Now, at 24, I find that people still have the same issue with me not acting like a noncommittal slut.
When the question about my age does get asked, their response is now to just say ‘oh’ as if I’ve just told them I have some life threatening illness or that I’ve just insulted their mother.
I still wouldn’t change the age I got married at all, it was the right time for me. So why do people feel that they can still criticize my decision? What is going to change now it’s happened? If you’re in the same boat, DON’T let other people’s comments get you down, you’ve chose to make that decision so stick to your guns.
2. Things go very flat after wedding planning
We were planning our wedding for 18 months and it was all over in one day (plus a week if you count the honeymoon). Suddenly we went from spending our evenings and weekends planning to not have a lot to do once we came home from work.
I did feel the ‘twiddle thumb’ moment once the wedding had been over because it did take up a lot of our lives and (luckily) we ended up having to move house soon after the wedding so we did have something else to focus on.
If you are planning on getting married soon, then a great tip is to make sure you have a project to start on once the wedding is over. Or peer pressure your friends into getting married so you can plan all over again (I joke, of course).
3. Changing your name is WEIRD
As mentioned in a previous blog post – I chose to change my surname once I got married. I never imagined how weird it would be once it actually happened once we said ‘I do’.
In the first few months I did have to think every time someone asked for my name, and it would take me a while to twig that someone was calling me by my new surname.
Now, a year on, I’ve gotten used to my new name but I still find it weird being a Mrs. The title doesn’t feel odd because of the age old argument which is ‘oh women are sooo suppressed having to change your title,’ but it’s more that it feels far too grown up!!! But at the same time, there is something that’s nice about being Mr & Mrs (or Mr & Mr, Mrs & Mrs) because to me, I feel like part of a unit.
4. The first year is a test
The first year of marriage is designed to be a test. Call me crazy if you like, but we both encountered obstacles and challenges which I believe were designed to test how good our relationship is. Your vows are put into action and only the best survive.
I am happy to report that despite illness, stress and a looonnng house move; we passed the test! If times for you are a struggle then don’t give up, you married your other half for a reason.
5. I wouldn’t change it for the world…